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Should You Relocate for
Love?
by Eve Rasmussen
The sun is shining for you, the birds are singing,
there's a spring in your step, and you've suddenly
become one of those people who hums. You're in love.
Life is good except for one small problem. Your sweetie
is hundreds or perhaps thousands of miles away. It's a
geographic dilemma. And as exciting as the whirlwind
weekends of romance are, the two of you are beginning to
think about how nice it would be to share all of the
little things that people in the same area code take for
granted, like spontaneity and casual time. Should you
relocate for love? Moving means a major upheaval of your
life, but the long-distance thing is expensive,
frustrating, and ultimately limiting the depth of your
relationship. Here are some issues to ponder when you're
considering relocating:
What kind of life do you imagine for yourself in the
new area?
You may have found Prince or Princess Charming, but how
do you feel about the kingdom? Is this some place that
you can envision yourself living out the rest of your
days? How do you feel about the quality of life? Take
into account the weather, cost of living, access to
cultural events, proximity to wilderness, etc.
How do you plan to set up a support system in the new
place?
Do you have job prospects there? What about friends or
family? Moving is emotionally stressful. You will be
parting with people, places, and things that are
important to you. How comfortable are you with getting
to know new people? You and your companion will need to
get used to being together, and you will also be dealing
with all the emotions of becoming accustomed to a new
place. Think about what you need to do to keep from
feeling isolated and lost.
Will your lifestyle change completely?
True love is the best thing in the world, but be sure
that something appeals to you about moving to your new
area beyond one person. Rural life, for example, may be
perfect for your mate, but if you're an urbanite, how
long will it keep you happy? Are you excited about
living there? Will line dancing in Dallas do it for you
when you're used to theatre in New York, or vice versa?
Think about how you'll adapt to the local culture and
how much of a lifestyle change you're willing to make.
If you can't think of a few ways to spend your time,
think a little harder about whether this is the right
step right now. Also, if, god forbid, you and your
partner broke up, would the new area have any redeeming
qualities for you?
How much time have you previously spent in your new
area?
So, you thought northern Alaska was simply stunning when
you visited your love there for a week in the summer,
but how are you going to feel about the two hours of
daylight in January? It is an issue. Find out as much as
you can about this possible new home so you can make an
informed decision.
* Will you be accessible to old friends and family?
You must set up a new support system of friends in your
new area, but old friends and family can never be
replaced. Think about how you'll manage keeping in
touch. Consider the financial burden if you'll be moving
far away from most of the people you know and love. This
is especially important if you're planning to start a
family in this new place. Are you prepared to get Mom's
advice over the phone?
How are you going to say goodbye?
For many people, a home town is a big part of your
identity. All of the people and activities that make it
special to you also make it hard to leave. Relocating
means closing a chapter of your life and starting a new
one, and your friends and colleagues may not be all that
supportive of your decision. How you will respond to
adverse reactions? Make a list for yourself of all the
pros and cons about moving. It will help you in
explaining how you feel. Your best friends just want you
to be happy.
How should you close up your life in the town you're
leaving?
Moving is a major life change which gives you the
freedom and the opportunity to re-evaluate how your life
is structured and what's important to you. Take
advantage of this contemplative time. If you decide that
relocating is what you want to do, tie up your loose
ends in your old home. Do the things that you always
meant to do there and say all of the things that you'd
always planned on saying someday. Keep what you value,
but get rid of your dead weight and move on.
The magnetic pull between two people who are absolutely
right for each other can push many obstacles out of the
way. Relocating is a big decision, and it will
inevitably be stressful, but sometimes you've just gotta
listen to your heart. Packing up your singlehood and
your current way of life is both scary and exciting, but
if your partner is patient, understanding, and willing
to compromise, you'll have the best companion possible
to help you get through it. The two of you can unpack
boxes, transfer bills, explore the sights, and hum
through it all together. And that's the best very part.
Find the one that "moves" you at oneandonly.com
!
Mix 'n Match Copyright (c) 1999 Match.Com Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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